The Benjamin Promotion – Most Innovative Way to Advertise Ever!
Money travels. We’ve all seen the documentaries about how currency travels all over the world, before finally ending up in an incinerator (or in the pocket of a corrupt bank official) once it is unfit to be reissued. For those of us wanting to promote a business, website, band, or pretty much anything, I have devised a way to
PROMOTE AROUND THE WORLD FOR LESS THAN A PAIR OF OVERPRICED JEANS!

My expertly trained staff (they have been writing for over 20 years, each) will write any message that you wish on a $100 bill, and then professionally introduce it into target areas around the United States (extra charge for international distribution). This bill is Guaranteed to be seen by at least 100 different people, unless it is confiscated as evidence in a drug/laundering/other crime case. Even if this happens, imagine the press you will get when the feds find your information all over this bill, and raid the mailbox you are using as a business address. All of the major news networks will be on it, with your face and website plastered all over the primetime news shows. Ahhh, we can dream. (Note- the aforementioned scenario is in no way covered by the Guarantee mentioned above. There is a 1 in 123,094,510,591,457,024 chance of this happening. For explanation of how our statisticians got this number, please refer to the Article entitled “86% of Statistics are Made Up”)
! The $110 MARKETING PLAN !
Anyways, back to the topic at hand. Yes, we will PROMOTE YOUR BUSINESS or your, your site, your profile, etc for the amazing price of $110. This covers professional sorting to find the optimal $100 bill, stenciling/branding, and recirculation in the best possible locations around the US.
If you have any questions, please refer to above text. Click on the Paypal button below, fill out the information, and indicate in the Special Instructions sections exactly what you want written on the bill. (No profanity, up to 60 Characters, and special characters are limited to periods ( . ), hashtags, ( # ) and parentheses ( … do you really need a sample? ). Commas ( , ) may be subject to additional charges (for tax reasons).
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