~Innovation is the fabric upon which I create the tapestry of my life. Threads of Vision and Determination sewn with the needle known as Strength.~

It sounds ‘artsy’ enough, but more importantly, it means something to me.

In the beginning of the quote, I mention Innovation. I have always looked ahead, at the ‘big picture’ of any situation. I often try to think of ways to change the things around me for the better. These characteristics of my personality were one of the primary factors pushing me to go into consulting (which I did and enjoyed for a couple of years). This drive for innovation and constant change is the fabric, or core of my personality and who I am. Even though the image on the tapestry may gradually change, the fabric always remains.

My thought process and the way I look at things is different from that of most people that I’ve met, which helps me see things that others miss or ignore. In any project that I take on, I look at the ‘best possible scenario’ – a sequence of events that culminates into the ultimate peak for any business, product venture, etc. My Vision changes as the tapestry is formed. New experiences, events, friendships, and partnerships all make their impact on the threads symbolizing the timeline of my life.

If Vision symbolizes the bright threads in my tapestry, Determination represents the earth tones, pastels, and solid patterns that allow the threads of Vision to stand out. I am, and always have been, determined to succeed. No matter how often I may fail, I am always determined to take the best out of any situation and continue. Our lives are never completely shiny and happy. Sometimes we have to go through hardships and difficulty, but those somber tones give our tapestries the substance they need to be beautiful and original.

To build the life we want, we have to use the right tools. My primary tool is Strength. (I have written an entire post dedicated to this topic, titled World’s Strongest Man). I must have the Strength to continue regardless what obstacles may come my way. I must have the Strength to overcome diversity and my own doubts and concerns. Just as a needle allows a talented seamstress to create beautiful works of art, so my Strength allows me to cut my own path throughout the reality around me.

Please keep in mind that this post was written at 4am. If it seems like I was under the influence of a controlled substance while writing this, the only drug in my system is Caffeine. My cup of coffee at Ihop two hours ago has kept me going this long, so might as well spend the extra sleepless time writing!

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Obviously, strength plays a major part in the dream track that I had chosen for myself at that young age. To bench press a hundred pounds, your arms and back must be able to sustain the weight, and drive it forward. Two hundred pounds is a bit more challenging, requiring additional support muscles that are not as well developed as the ones you use day to day. Bench pressing three hundred pounds takes determination- weeks (if not months) of training to strengthen all of the core and support muscles throughout the arms, chest, and shoulders. Hitting four hundred pounds is a feat in and of itself, as it requires intense concentration on every muscle group throughout the torso (even the lower back) for years. Without taking the steps necessary to build up these minor and major muscle groups, it is impossible for most individuals to lift that kind of weight. Hurrying through training or ‘cheating’ will only lead to injury.

With all of the various schools of thought on the topic of success, we are often taught to expect it all right away. If we don’t know how to handle small amounts of success, how are we supposed to react when hundreds of millions of dollars are suddenly piled into our laps? Much like trying to lift too much weight too quickly, trying to grasp at too much success can get us hurt. Don’t get me wrong- there are plenty of ‘miracle’ success stories. There are also at least twice as many cases where individuals propelled into stardom or riches crash and burn.

Throughout the entire process of training to bench press that weight, your concept of Strength gradually changes. When I first started training, I had dreams of seeing more than one “45” lb plate on each side of the bar. Gradually I grew accustomed to seeing many more than that. I had thought I would consider myself ‘Strong’ after being able to leg press five hundred pounds. When I reached my max in that exercise (1470lbs), did I feel like I had finally reached my goal? Not really- I knew I gained levels of strength and accomplished my previous goals, but I still couldn’t completely walk around calling myself a ‘Strong’ man. If I had let myself be ruled by the mediocre goals that I had set at the beginning, I would never had proceeded past mediocrity. My dream of being one of the ‘World’s Strongest Men’ (the likelihood of which was next to none) kept me blowing past these mediocre goals and standards that I let myself set. I was able to reach heights (well, weights, technically) that I never would have dreamed of in those first days of sore muscles and tired limbs.

In our lives, we often set our sights on a certain level of wealth or accomplishment. For those of us that had to wash dishes, we couldn’t wait to get that thirty-cent raise. In our career life, we wait on that distant promotion, knowing that it will fill that void and make everything right. When we finally get to that point, are we as fulfilled as we thought we would be? In most cases, no. Just like with weight training and sports, we set these artificial indicators in our minds because we know that we can reach them. We shelter ourselves from the possibility of failure while telling ourselves that reaching these goals will give us what we need. If we keep allow our lives to follow this narrow track of small goals, at what point will we allow ourselves to feel ‘accomplished’ and relax in that relative mediocrity?

What is your dream? What is your ‘best case’ scenario? Is it a beach house and a surf board? Is it millions in the bank and a happy marriage? Or is it to climb the highest mountains and dive to the deepest depths of the ocean? No matter what you dream of, make sure that you don’t allow your focus to shift from that dream. Refuse to accept mediocrity. Keep your eye on the prize, and don’t be afraid to accept the small gains and accomplishments. Accept them, but don’t let them take the place of your wildest dreams!

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From the very start, Timothy lets you know that he knows what you Need. He knows exactly what makes you tick, and what you are looking for in life. How does he know this? Because he is a master of sales and social manipulation! Now- I don’t know much about him, or what he’s done. As I mentioned- I’ve only made it 5 minutes into the audiobook. In just those 5 minutes, however, I can tell where this is going. The primary reason that he is able to be so forward and assuming is that you are already on the hook. You have either picked up the book, purchased it, or have started listening to it. This means that something in the title, on the cover, or in his marketing campaign has made you want to delve deaper than the cover. Because you have taken that first step, and ‘bit’ the bait, you are now at his mercy, and will listen to (at least some of) what he has to say. His ‘hook’ puts him into the ‘zone’ – that place where he feel supremely comfortable. Once he has established his ‘zone’, he continues on to give you the pitch of why his words and concepts matter So much to You.

Are we able to be so forward and assuming in our own lives? Do we have a ‘hook’ of our own that we can use to land a sale, seal a deal, or make a new friend? What are the tools that we can use to change the outcome of any event to be in our favor? After a few minutes of self reflection, I can see some of the ‘hooks’ that I use to swerve a conversation into an area where I feel comfortable. When I am comfortable, I am self-assured. I know exactly what I’m talking about, and love to let the other party know that. I will push my agenda, carefully, but will take into account Anything that the prospect, client, or potential acquaintance has to say. If they disagree with me- Great! I want to know all of the reasons that they have for feeling the way that they do about that specific topic. I have come away with more positive meetings and experiences resulting from confrontational discussion than from polite banter.

Take a few minutes of self-reflection to analyze your own habits and techniques for getting people/clients/prospects to like you. Do you have a ‘hook’ that you can identify? If not, try to find a topic relating to your life or business that you are supremely comfortable discussing. Practice various speaking techniques that will allow you to turn a conversation on this topic, without seeming like you are trying to take control of a situation, or **Shudder** give a sales pitch. Once you have hit that ‘zone’, use the comfort and familiarity that you have now fostered within yourself to talk about the topic that you are really there to discuss. Even if you aren’t all that comfortable discussing a contract, selling a product, or learning about someone new, the ‘hook’ will keep you from embarking on that journey feeling uncertain. Make your client/prospect/associate feel like they ‘Need’ to hear what you’re talking about. Use your comfort ‘zone’ to let them know why your product/service/self is so great for Them. Once you’ve mastered the art of creating the ‘Need’, all you have to worry about is being able to follow through!

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How does one become a Success Junkie?

I went ahead and took an excerpt from Kirsty Dunphey’s website. According to her bio, Kirsty is a self-confessed Success Junkie. Reading about others’ success gets her inspired and ready to take on new challenge. This is one example of how one becomes a Success Junkie:

Humble Beginnings

I don’t believe that an overabundance of ambition is a condition that one is born into. It is, however, something that can be fostered from early childhood. When a child get’s all A’s on their report card, parent’s shouldn’t be overjoyed. Ask the child what else that they have done, beyond just their grades. Tell them that their report card is but the beginning- they are being graded in life, as well.

Once High School rolls around, it becomes easier and easier to get lost in a sea of busy work. Clubs, Teams, and other extracurriculars can be healthy for a child, but they can also prove to be a detriment. Teamwork is an important skill to have in a workforce, but is it all that necessary when fostering the development an entrepreneur that can and will try to do everything on their own? Of course not! Becoming the Team Captain, Head Cheerleader, or President of the Honor Society may be good for the ego, but it will take away in the long run. How many of us know such “rising stars” that never made anything of themselves? The sense of accomplishment when reaching the top of such a small ladder can be enough to deter further pursuits. For a future success junkie, enough should never be enough. Once they reach the top, it is time to branch out and continue on in life.

Knowledge

Never stop trying to learn things about things. Nothing in specific. Even if you’re not all that interested in a topic of conversation, get interested. Ask questions. There is nothing better than learning from people that have been there and done that. (Why else would you be reading this? Knowledge is power, and power leads to success.

Even at a young age, I would strive for more. In the third grade, I came across a teacher’s guide to a college history book. It belonged to my uncle, who was happy to lend it to me once the semester was over. To be honest, in the third grade, I didn’t have enough of a vocabulary to understand half of what was in that book. What did I do? I read, and read, and read again. I read other books, more in the middle-highschool level, until I understood much of what I was reading in the teacher’s guide. I would do the questions and quizzes, and could then check the answers myself. What did this teach me? I could overcome a difficulty, and do it completely on my own. I didn’t need to answer adults’ questions as to why I was interested in reading this. I didn’t have to question others about the meaning of the words I was reading. I learned, and it felt great. Because it wasn’t something that I could completely master, it made me want more.

Evaluation

Once you are able to overcome the initial hurdles in attaining success, it is time to start reaping the benefits. An entrepreneur is typically not in it for the long run. That is for other classes of business people. After every accomplishment, reevaluate whether or not what you have done to get to that point was worth it. Has it made you happy? Are you content with what you have done, or should you have done better? Hindsight is 20/20- then use it! They say that we learn from our mistakes. Well, why not try our best not to make mistakes and simply learn from our success?
In school,  pat yourself on the back for good grades, but strive for more. If you are taking Algebra, start learning Trig. Taking Gym? Win the next basketball or volleyball game that your coach organizes, remember what you did, and do it again the next time. At work, learn what it is that you are expected to do, and do better. Learn the jobs of those around you, and help them out when they need it. Your boss or supervisor going on vacation? Ask to help fill in. Every step up the ladder takes you closer to that glass ceiling.

Walk the Walk

When you are living the life of a Success Junkie, those around you are going to think one of two things: Either you’re another dreamer, thinking that you’re going to make it big… Or you’re the ‘next big thing’, destined for greatness. Which would you rather be? To be considered the latter, you have to learn to Walk the Walk, and Talk the Talk. I am going to have a post dedicated to this, but I can summarize it here for the impatient ones in the audience!

Walking the Walk means that those around you know that you are successful. It doesn’t take much money to look successful. You simply have to cover a few bases — Attitude, Attire, and Accessories.

Attitude:

If you feel like a loser, no amount of money spent on clothes or nice cars is going to help. You have to feel the way you want to look. Have you ever met that outgoing person that seems to be the life of the party. Seen that women that turns heads, even though she may not be a size 2? It’s all in the attitude. Before going anywhere, take a look in the mirror. Look at yourself, and be impressed by what you see. You are successful. No matter what happens around you, you are the one that will be the one to benefit. You are not vain, but you are sure of yourself. A good self-esteem doesn’t cost you anything, but it is priceless.

Attire:

Nice clothes can make a man or woman. Nice clothes can also break the bank. If you are looking for designer labels on a budget, stay away from the malls and department stores. Go to Ross, TJ Maxx, or other discount stores. You will get the same labels, for a quarter of the price. Always wear clothing that works for your body type. If you need a suit, find a tailor that is inexpensive. Burlington Coat Factory stores often have suits at great prices, along with a tailor on hand that can make it look great. Women- wondering what to wear? Gauge it on the situation. If you are meeting new clients for the first time, wear something inviting yet professional. Harsh masculine clothing can make you look unapproachable, while flirty and colorful clothes can lead to you not being taken as seriously.

Accessories:

A great attitude and clothes to match may not be enough to seal the deal. Jewelry can be a great accessory to facilitate the image of success. Men- stay away from something too flashy, as it can be tacky. Never wear more than one necklace or bracelet at any given moment. Stick to something that is thick and masculine, but not gaudy. Designers such as Russell Simmons have been making an effort to introduce new lines of Stainless Steel jeweelry targeted specifically at upscale men. These lines have something for almost anyone, and the prices are much lower than something comparable in gold.

Another key accessory (albeit a more expensive one) is the vehicle. Nothing can tell you more about a person’s taste and status than their vehicle. Is it a family sedan? Is it a heavy-duty pickup truck? Is the business owner driving a brand new $100,000 Mercedes S550? While this indicator can often be deceiving, it is still good to make sure that you present the right image. If all you have to work with is a beat-up old vehicle, find a friend with a nice car, and ask to borrow it. Another alternative is rent- many large rental chains are offering premium vehicles for much less than a lease payment would be. If your business has started running smoothly, and there are no foreseable reasons not to, feel free to look into purchasing a nicer vehicle for the use of the business. Make sure it is something at least moderately practical, however. Last year I purchased a sporty roadster convertible, and have been pleased to watch the reaction on potential client’s faces when I would arrive for lunch or dinner meetings. Outside of work, I have had people ask me what I do to drive a car like that. This provides me with an opportunity to tell them more about myself and what it is I do.

Tomorrow and Beyond

What happens when you realize that you have become a Success Junkie? What steps do you have to take to make sure that you ‘get a fix’? Well, follow the following steps, and you should be on your way to the top in no time!

1. Maintain a positive outlook regardless what is going on around you.

2. Look for opportunities around every corner.

3. Meet new people, and learn from them.

4. Study your environment, and make decisions accordingly.

5. Learn the importance of networking.

6. Share in your knowledge with others, for the more you teach the faster you will learn.

7. Never stop believing that your ‘big break’ is almost here.

8. Ask questions, and question authority.

9. Find newer and better ways to things. Teach those ways to someone else.

10. Work hard no matter what it is you do.

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To be honest, if one didn’t fail at some point, then one could not be categorized as human. Look at the story of Adam and Eve. The ‘parents of all humanity’, as they are categorized in some religions and cultures, were part of what was probable the most epic of all failures!

I will admit it. I myself failed once. Tragic, I know. To be honest, I have failed in the traditional sense of the word ALOT. A large majority of my ideas and ventures do not make it past the “napkin” stage. Truthfully, that’s probably a good thing. If all of my ideas bore fruit, then I would never have time to work on new concepts and plans. Limited Failure, to a degree, helps weed out all of the negative aspects of a business or individual’s personality.

Traditional Failure

We are taught to “Learn from our Mistakes”. Is this truly the right policy? Society tells us that it is ok to fail all the time, because we are learning. I believe that we should cut our failures to a minimum. Honestly- are you a failure just because you didn’t take an idea written on a napkin to fruition? I don’t really think so. In our minds, we cannot let ourselves think that we constantly fail. This will not only take away our “success-minded” outlook on life, but drain away the ‘mojo’ that is within every one of us. No, not that mojo. I am talking about that spark that is within all of us, that bright light begging to get out.

Many of us have allowed that light to flicker and fade. By focusing upon any perceived failures, we further dim that light of potential. By changing our outlook, however, we are able to get away from worrying about any small failures, and focus the positive things going on in our lives. Keep an eye on the people around you that depend on you. Be it financial dependence (family, employees) or emotional (spouse, children)- these individuals count on you to succeed. Keeping your chin up, regardless what may be going on around you, will give them the assurance that everything will be alright.

Degrees of Failure

In order to develop and grow a mindset of success, we need to learn to establish the parameters of failure. Look within yourself, and examine past accomplishments. You will remember big things- getting your driver’s license, graduating, starting your first business, closing your first million-dollar deal… There are plenty of these, but you can usually name them off fairly quickly. What about the small accomplishments? Do you include such mundane things as putting your socks on the right way, or not spilling your morning coffee? These things are accomplishments in and of themselves, but still pale in comparison to the things you’ve done that truly matter. You would lose weeks trying to chronicle every minor accomplishment from the last year, let alone the past five or ten.

If cataloguing every degree of success in our lives seems redundant, then why do we so often dwell on the small failures that happen in our lives? We don’t notice it, but a chain reaction occurs every day around us. You wake up a few minutes later than normal, and begin to feel rushed. You spill coffee on your pants on the way to work, get into a grouchy mood, and stumble through a presentation with a VIP client because you’re busy trying to cover up the stain with the presentation folder. You lost an account that would have doubled sales because of something as simple as getting into a hurry. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you’re running late, you should have prioritized preparing for the presentation. We forget about the good ‘little’ things happening around us, but let tiny bad things escalate in very ‘big’ bad things.

Prioritize your Problems

There are hundreds of Time Management programs developed to teach you how to stay organized and get things done. The basic concepts of most of these programs are the same: Prioritize, Compartmentalize, and Delegate. The same concepts taught by those programs also apply to our internal ‘Stress Management Center’. Being able to reign in your subconscious and manage your emotions will allow you the freedom of no longer being controlled by them.

From now on, make an effort to prioritize things in your mind. Small failures are to be treated as such- they are inconsequential and only make things worse if you dwell on them. As soon as you or someone around you starts dwelling on something that really doesn’t matter, change the topic to something more important. This will cause the subconscious to shift gears, allowing you the freedom of forgetting about your small problems. When it comes to bigger ‘oops’ moments and problems, always take the time to ask yourself “Will stressing about this issue make it any better”. If your ‘self’ answers “No”, then move on to more pressing problems. Yes- regardless how well things are going, there are always going to be more pressing problems than what you are busy worrying about.

Compartmentalization may be a big word, but it’s a simple concept. Have you ever had to smile while an emotional storm was brewing inside? Our minds are incredibly built, allowing us to feel and exhibit multiple emotions at any given moment. The mind also provides us with the key that lets us control those same emotions, and choose which ones are allowed to rise to the surface of our conscious thought. Once we reign in our emotions and feelings with Prioritization, we can then begin to sift through them and decide which ones we will allow to affect us. The concept of Compartmentalization lets us move stressors, failures, and other inconsequential issues aside, providing our minds with more ‘processing power’ to deal with situations that we can change for the better.

In an office atmosphere, a manager can lessen their work load by delegating tasks to subordinates and employees. As it applies to our emotions and feelings, we don’t really have that luxury. We can, however, utilize the concept of Delegation to help us lessen the stress load and deal with failures and trials. Once you have Prioritized key issues, and Compartmentalized to get the less important ones out of the way, it comes time to Delegate your own thought process to handle issues in order of importance. You must tell yourself that critical issues have to be handled first. If you hit a stopping point while you’re handling a critical issue, set it aside and move on to the next. Delegation doesn’t mean forgetting about your problems- simply setting them on the backburner. Compartmentalization allows you to set it aside, Prioritization shows you the next issue on your internal Task manager, and Delegation brings it to the forefront, letting you focus all of your resources on solving that particular dilemma.

Summary

While these concepts may be a bit confusing, they are integral in managing stress and dealing with any failure that may arise in your life. To have any kind of success amidst failure or stress, we must learn how to program ourselves for a mindset of success. Using the concepts of Prioritization, Compartmentalization, and Delegation will unlock within you the capability of developing this mindset. Look at any successful individual – the problems that they deal with are SO much bigger than anything we have to face, yet they continue being successful. The ones that crack under pressure were never taught the secrets of having Success through Failure. If you can succeed in the worst possible situations, there is nothing that will be able to take your success away. Look within, and build a foundation that will carry you for decades to come.

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